Demi’s Disease and America’s Apathy

Over the past few days I have watched the train wreck that has been Demi Lovato’s overdose; and let me be clear – when I say train wreck I mean the discussion of Demi Lovato’s private life with anyone outside her family, inner circle of friends, and the media. I have watched as shows like Inside Edition, Entertainment Tonight, and “reputable” news organizations like NBC and CNN have reported misinformation, untruths, and disgusting speculations. It is almost as if they are celebrating an earth-shattering event in the private life of someone for sport.

What has disheartened me more than the media’s ass backward’s commentary has been the comments from average Americans as the relate to both a celebrity struggling with addiction and as they relate to the disease that is addiction. It is 2018. Doctors and scientists have studied, investigated, and released reports ad nauseam. Just about every report or study has told us virtually the same thing – addiction is something we don’t fully understand, but we do know enough to state that it is a lifelong chronic disease that is very hard to beat. So all you Judge Judys shouting for people to stop being lazy, put the crack pipe down, and get off the couch so you can find a job can have several seat, pick up a book on addiction and educate yourselves.

I minored in sociology while I was in college. After the intro to sociology class I took at Clemson I had to take 5 more upper level sociology classes. I tell you this not to try and prove that I am an expert in the field because I am NOT. However, I am interested in the subject and that is what led me to choose 3 of those 5 classes on addiction and substance abuse issues. The professor who taught those three classes and the information I learned while studying the information changed my thoughts on addiction, mental health, treatment for substance abuse, and criminal justice involving drugs in this nation.

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Demi Lovato has bravely shared with the world that she is an addict. Demi Lovato has bravely shared with the world numerous times what she does to stay sober. Demi Lovato has bravely shared with the world how hard it is to stay sober. Demi Lovato has bravely shared with the world that she has relapsed. We should get one thing very clear about that last sentence:

Demi Lovato is NOT a morally weak person or failure in life because she suffered a relapse!

What do addiction, diabetes, hypertension, asthma, and high cholesterol all have in common? All of those chronic conditions has relapse rates that fall in between 40%-60% chance of having a relapse in the condition at least one time after diagnosis.¹ None of those other conditions carries the same stigma that addiction has. None of the people suffering from high cholesterol or asthma are looked at like degenerates or moral failures that those who are battling addiction do. It is wrong and unfair to label these people as weak and cast them out of society. They are not lepers and we have got to do more to first, change the conversation on addiction and second, help this people who are struggling get back on the road to recovery again.

Addiction affects 21 million adults in this country and another 2 million people between the ages of 13 and 17.² It does not discriminate and no racial group or economic bracket is more predisposed to suffer from addiction than any other group. This nation spends 442 BILLION dollars every year on drug abuse.³ Imagine where we would be as a country if we spent some of that money on effective treatment, education, and prevention of drug abuse instead of spending it on funerals and incarcerations. There would be many friends and family members of many American families that were still living their best lives.

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I care about this more than because it involves Demi Lovato. While I do consider myself a fan of her music her openness about her struggles with mental health and addiction are what I respect her for most.  On a personal note, I lost someone very close to me to a drug addiction. We went out on quite a few dates, but life brought us together at inconvenient times so it never progressed to much more at that time to us remaining Facebook friends. A year or two later we reconnected after drifting apart, but his addiction kept us apart. After it got worse than I had seen it in any of the previous instances I made the decision for my own mental health to break contact for some time. It was one of the most excruciatingly difficult decisions I have ever made, but at that time I could not watch this person  waste away and become this shell of the person I knew.

I didn’t here from them for a couple weeks. I just prayed everything was ok and they would get help. Then I got a facebook message. It came at 2:45 Thursday Night/Friday morning so I knew they were using. I sighed and went back to bed, but I didn’t sleep much the rest of that night. For the next six weeks I didn’t hear anything. Talking to a mutual friend of my friend who was fighting in a general conversation a comment was made about him that confused me. When I asked what he was talking about he told me that our friend died of an overdose several weeks back. I immediately googled and found the obituary. They died 2 days after that last Facebook message on Sunday morning.

It took all my strength not to throw up at the restaurant table we were sitting in. I had not even known. I didn’t get to go to the funeral. I never got to say goodbye. There are so many things I never got to say. Addiction does not just hurt the addict. The people who love someone living with addiction suffer as well. It changes relationships and can cause wounds that never heal. There will always be a part of me that is stuck on this. I still think about whether or not I made the right decision. I wonder what I could have done. There has to have been a way for me to help more.

Maybe if I had responded that night then Andrew would still be here. That I will never know. But I do know this: Staying sober and in recover is really fucking hard and If we don’t stop looking at people who are living with addiction as terrible failures and start treating them with the love, care, and compassion they need then we are going to lose more than my friend Andrew. And for the rest of my life, losing that one is more than enough.

-WB

If you are suffering with an addiction, please seek help! If you need help reach out and ask a friend or a loved one for help. I love you and will be there for you. So will your friends and family! Here are some resources local to the Greenville area if you need them! All you have to do is take the first step.


¹https://www.drugabuse.gov/publications/drugs-brains-behavior-science-addiction/treatment-recovery

²https://www.samhsa.gov/disorders

³https://www.usnews.com/news/at-the-edge/articles/2016-12-19/drug-and-alcohol-abuse-cost-taxpayers-442b-annually-new-surgeon-generals-report-finds

The Slander of a Sex Worker: How Stormy Became Salomé

By now the world is well versed in the sexcapades of our current President. Whether or not he cheated on Melania Trump with Stormy Daniels is irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. We know he has cheated before – multiple times. Court records prove he cheated on Ivana Trump with Marla Maples while still married to Ivana and their have been a host of women who say they have been in relationships with Trump or have had affairs with Trump while he was legally married to all three wives. One would think that  would be enough to turn the general public that makes up Trump supporters – as well as the GOP – away from Trump, but this not just any President or just any other republican politician. Especially since they claim to be the party of family values.

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Salomé’s Dance. Painting by Gustave Moreau.

Any other republican politician this happened to would be on the receiving end of statements from officials distancing themselves from him, declining his endorsement, and denouncing the behavior. We would also see evangelicals and leaders from the religious right like Franklin Graham outraged at what is being read on our news programs each evening. Especially when our President openly admitted to grabbing people by the pussy.We would hear shouts of “Think of the Children!” But since this is the presidency of Donald Trump we do not get any of that. We instead hear the right offer Trump a mulligan for his past sins, and we hear nothing except the right’s pharisaical and two-faced attempts to turn Stormy Daniels into a modern day Salomé.

Allow me to explain. The story of Salomé is a long and twisted one. Emerging first as an unnamed figure in multiple Gospels of the Bible as a dancer for the Birthday celebrations of King Herod, Salomé and her legacy if she was indeed even a real person has been through many incantations and depictions. The metamorphosis from nameless dancer for King Herod to notorious seductress did not happen over night. Throughout time and throughout art, her image shifted as countless master painters (Titian, Caravaggio, and Gustave Moreau), playwrights (Oscar Wilde), and Hollywood variations (most notably Rita Hayworth in the classic film and Jessica Chastain in the Al Pacino update) on the person that Salomé was moved towards a more seductive and deadly portrayal of woman. God forbid a woman actually own her sexuality and the power that comes with it. That would be absolutely SCANDALOUS!

Salomé is perhaps most known and most infamous for the so-called dance of the seven veils. As a birthday present for the king she was brought forth and she danced with seven veils. The dance was supposedly so inspiring and so enchanting that Herod agreed to grant her anything she wanted. As a friend of King Herod’s wife, she followed the prodding of the Queen to ask for the execution of Saint John the Baptist- his head was given to her on a silver platter. While the title dance of the seven veils was the entire creation of Oscar Wilde, the story has scandalized the world since and turned Salome into a trope that has been used to define women in positions of sexual power into women of no moral standards. Below is the Jessica Chastain version of Salomé’s Seven Veils Dance in the 2013 film Wilde Salomé. The Second video is the Rita Hayworth 1953 version of Salomé – considered so scandalous at the time it took a year to get it released.

While I freely admit (and I am sure Stormy Daniels would agree with me) that Stormy Daniels is not the Virgin Mary, she does not deserve to be turned into a modern day Salomé who is after something or someone. Throughout this entire Trump – Stormy Daniels ordeal these few things have consistently stuck out in her favor:

  1. Stormy Daniels has not changed a major piece of her story  even once.
  2. Daniels is fully cooperating with federal investigators.
  3. Trump has changed his story or had to have the Presidential Press Secretary clarify aspects of his statements or other factual areas of the case.
  4. Daniels has offered to return the $130,000 payment.
  5. Daniels gains nothing from this ordeal other than her good name and reputation – and yes she still has a reputation.
  6. Trump is getting nervous.

Daniels gets no money for going on the morning news shows or for being interviewed by Anderson Cooper – news organizations do not pay for stories. As of right now, it seems to me that all Stormy Daniels is getting out of this is insults and death threats being thrown her way. All of these people hurling the insults at Stormy Daniels seem to focus on one thing: her career choice. As Daniels as now sued Trump for Defamation of Character, people have been quick to pile on just how little character that they think she has. Upon looking at the WYFF4 News Facebook page, the evidence is plainly stated. Below are a few screenshots of what people think in regards to the April 28, 2018 News Channel 4 Facebook post about Daniels’ suit against the President¹:

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The original artwork of Oscar Wilde’s play version of Salomé

The thing that sticks out to me first as I scroll through the comments is how most of the comments questioning whether or not Stormy Daniels has character overwhelmingly come from women- and this is what saddens me the most. The majority believe it inconceivable that someone like Stormy Daniels is capable of telling the truth. They seem to imply the support the president’s assertion that this is all for her to somehow make money off of. Never mind the fact the this president has consistently said some of the most vile, misogynistic, and disgusting things about women. Never mind the fact that this President has been proven to have lied or had this administration lie on his behalf MULTIPLE times. Never mind all that. Stormy Daniels screws people. Stormy Daniels makes money screwing people. Stormy Daniels is a slut and that means Stormy Daniels cannot possibly be defamed.

Humans (along with pigs, bonobo monkeys, dolphins,) are one of the only species of living animal that we know for certain has sex for pleasure. To put it simply, we have sex because we like the feeling that comes with it. Most people enjoy being naked becasue they feel there is something liberating that comes from it. Stormy Daniels found a way to make money off of doing something that feels good while being naked with somebody else. Sometimes multiple somebodies. Props to her. I tip my hat in her direction. Does that mean that Stormy Daniels is a terrible person? Does that mean she is immoral or not capable of contributing to our society? Absolutely Not.

Stormy Daniels is a grown ass woman. Allow me to say it one more time for the people in the back. She is a GROWN. ASS. WOMAN. As long as it is legal under the law, Stormy Daniels can screw whoever she wants, whenever she wants, however she wants. Consensual sex between two (or more – if your into that) able-minded consenting adults has no baring on whether or not a person has character. We have got to get away from a society where sex is something that is taboo, immoral, and wrong. It has dangerous consequences. It teaches women that they shouldn’t enjoy sex and the power that can come with owning the sexuality in all its glory and it directly contributes to depression, shame,  and HIV/AIDS in the LGBTQ communities. Some All people like sex. Some women enjoy sex more than some men do. Some people like watching other people have sex in pornographic videos. That doesn’t make the people in the video or the watchers of the video bad people. There is nothing wrong with any of those things. The sex positive movement is growing, but we all need to embrace it more quickly – especially if we get upset over people starring in adult films.

The adult film industry is a multi-billion dollar industry. It employs thousands of people across the country (mostly California, Nevada, New York, Florida, and surprisingly enough Atlanta, Georgia), both in front of and behind the camera. It brings in billions of dollars in online revenue and the adult entertainment industry conventions that happen across the country bring millions of dollars to the cities that they are held in. Porn is a multi-billion dollar business worth more than the NFL, NBA, and MLB combined, and the reason it is worth more than those three organizations is because people watch it. They buy it. They enjoy it. Do you call the cashier at Dunkin’ Donuts a jackass for selling you a donut and making you fat? I didn’t think so. So stop calling the porn star a slut for doing what you paid her to do and then feeling guilty or ashamed because you watched it.

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Rita Hayworth in 1953 for a Salomé still. The film was produced by Hayworth’s company specifically so she could star in the film. 

One of the people in the Facebook comments of the news page asked if there was any lower she could go. Since she apparently believes the lowest she can go is adult film star allow me to answer that question: Yes, Linda Jameison, there is lower she can go. There is nothing wrong with consenting adults having consensual sex. There is however something wrong with murderers, rapists, drug dealers, bigots, homophobes, racists, neo-nazis, and a host of other groups that spread hate and intolerance. As a teacher, I loathe cheaters of any kind because it is unfair to those who work hard and follow the rules. I also believe someone who lies is worse and lower than someone who makes no apologies about enjoying getting paid to have sex. Donald Trump has cheated on all three wives and it has been proven he has lied multiple times before and throughout his presidency. So suck on that lollipop of knowledge for a while, Linda. If you need some pointers, I suggest you watch some of Stormy Daniels work. I am sure she would be happy to give you some tips. But it will cost you. And there is nothing wrong with that.

-WB

Author’s Note:

¹Just so you can see the article for yourself and make sure I did not randomly pick the posts of people from other articles, if you scroll through WYFF4 article the title was “Trump Sued by Daniels for Defamation” on April 30, 2018. Also I debated about blurring out the names of individuals making the posts, but I decided it was unnecessary since they were posting them on a public page of a news organization’s social media website.

 

A First Lady’s Feisty Legacy

I do not know when I came to the realization that I was not as conservative as the members of my family. As I started to develop my own opinion and own views on things, I naturally gravitated more to the left due to many social issues. Although I have voted for candidates from both major parties I have definitely voted for members of one party more than the other. And the party I voted for more, was not the party of Barbara Bush.

With that said, I was extremely saddened by the passing of Barbara Bush on Tuesday at the age of 92. What saddened me the most about her passing was the thought of George Herbert Walker Bush having to live a life without Barbara after living with her for the past 72 years. I still cannot watch that video of President Bush reading the love letter he wrote to her where he gets emotional at the end. I start to ugly cry. If I am lucky enough to have a love half as strong as the love that the Bushes had for each other than I will consider myself a lucky man.

I grew up in a house that thought very highly of Barbara Pierce Bush. She was always spoken of fondly and positively – especially by my mother. Looking back on the conversations and stories and reflecting about my own opinions on things, the life and legacy of Barbara Bush is one of the few areas of “politics” that I do not disagree with my family on the issues. There is something about Barbara Bush that one cannot help but like and admire. With excellent cheekbones (even at 92) and a warm, cheerful smile her personality alone just seems welcoming and reassuring to be around. After learning more about the life this extraordinary women lived, Barbara Bush can rest easy in heaven as she waits on her husband to join her, confident that the gifts she gave her family and to our nation will be treasured for years to come.

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Photo courtesy of the Barbara Bush Foundation for Family Literacy.

As a teacher, one of Barbara’s biggest legacies that she leaves behind is close to my heart. Working tireless throughout her public life to combat the problem of illiteracy, Mrs. Bush recognized how important the ability to read was for our society. As her husband was running for President, Barbara Bush founded the Barbara Bush Foundation for Family Literacy. She gave speeches up until the last 6 months on the topic. A staggering 36 million adults in the U.S. have low literacy skills. One in four adults cannot read above a 5th grade level, and research shows the single greatest indicator of a child’s future success is the literacy level of his or her parents. I work at a school where the majority of my students read significantly below grade level. It saddens me that my students were not fortunate enough to have been blessed enough to have been born with many opportunities I had and took for granted. It angers me that most of my students have been passed off to be “someone else’s problem.” Barbara Bush realized the importance of the ability to read has in our society. And because of her fight, millions of dollars have been raised to help with childhood and adult literacy and millions of people can read.

As a family-oriented person myself, Mrs. Bush’s fierce love and desire to protect and safeguard her family and the Bush name is something I have always respected her for. My family is so large and has been together for so long I often joke when introducing friends to members of my family I will draw them a family tree later. As thew mother of 6 and the grandmother of 17, Barbara Bush was a lover of family. She was fiercely loyal and protective of her husband, her children, and the Bush name and she surrounded herself with people she could trust. Beneath the Aunt Bea demeanor that Barbara Bush showed to the public was a backbone of steel and a desire to help further the careers of her husband and her children. It is reported that President Bush sat with his wife for hours and held her hand as she passed on from this life. Just typing that sentence has me in tears, but I know she is in heaven smiling – because that is how she would have wanted it. The chance for the eternal reuniting with her daughter Robin (who died in childhood from Leukemia) is something Mrs. Bush spoke about frequently in her later years.

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Barbara Bush would argue this is the most important piece of her legacy. The Bush Family at the Bush Compound in Kennebunkport, Maine in the early 2000s. Photo courtesy of TIME.

As someone who has been called blunt many times before (even though I prefer the term honest), the Barbara Bush humorous quips are legendary around the Washington community. From saying she hopes Sarah Palin would stay in Alaska (me too Barb, me too.) to joking that her Husband could have been Speaker of the house (a not so subtle jab at Former Speaker of the House John Boehner) because he cried during an interview the two did with granddaughter Jenna Bush Hager, Barbara was quick witted and while it would typically turn people off when a public figure would respond in that way, Barbara Bush made it endearing and one of the things you like most about her.

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Barbara Bush holding a baby born with AIDS back in the late 1980s. Photo courtesy of Getty Images.

As a person who believes firmly in public service, Barbara Bush devoted her life to public service. She worked tirelessly to further the causes that she believed in and she sacrificed a life of normalcy to further her husband’s career and the values of the United States of America. Barbara Bush leaves a legacy of public service to those society would typically cast off. Following the lead of Diana, Princess of Wales, Barbara Bush was one of the first public political officials to talk about the HIV/AIDS epidemic and was the first American political figure to touch someone living with AIDS – at a time when many people still were unsure of its origins.

Finally, as a person who has always admired strong women – especially strong southern women, Barbara Bush was one of the strongest. Genteel and scrappy at the same time. She was the original Julia Sugarbaker – full of grit and determination. It is this grit and determination that allowed her to win over a liberal bastion like Wellesley College while giving a commencement address there in 1990. Barbara Bush is proof that you can have it all – you can raise a family of successful children, support your husband, and not have to give up your own successes. Like southern women are known to do she spoke volumes without speaking at all. She never publicly came out as pro-choice until writing her memoir in their post-presidency life so as not to damage the career of her husband, but all you had to do was read her facial expression and body language to know where she stood. I see so much of Barbara Bush’s strength in my mothers, grandmothers, and aunts. I was raised by strong women. And every single one of those women is stronger than the men in their lives. Barbara Bush would approve – she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Barbara Bush believed in the ideals and principles our nation was founded on and gave her life in service to furthering those causes. In an interview at the end of her husband’s presidency she was asked what is something that she learned from her decades in public service. Without even pausing Bush responded:

“Every person in our country is capable of offering something to everyone else. Some people give time, some money, some their skills and connections, some literally give their life’s blood – But everyone has something to give.”

What a remarkable and true observation after so many years of giving herself to all of us. Many first ladies have given so much in service to this nation. With the exceptions of Eleanor Roosevelt and Abigail Adams, no other First Ladies have given as much as Barbara Pierce Bush has given. If she were still with us she would ask you to reflect on what you have to give. Since she is not her, I will ask. What is your gift you can give the rest of us? Give it for Barbara Bush’s sake. Give it for my sake. But more importantly, give it for the sake of yourself. You won’t regret it. Mrs. Bush sure didn’t.

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Thank you for giving Mrs. Bush. May the lord bless you and your distinguished legacy of service to your family and your nation. May the eternal rest and peace you now have with your daughter Robin comfort you until you are reunited with your beloved George. May the eternal father hold your family in the palm of his hand as the grieve your passing. And may he bless us with the wisdom to follow in your footsteps as we celebrate your life.

-WB

Killing them a Second Time – Taking Sides in Syria

My friend Madison recently shared an article on Facebook that saddened me both as a historian and as a person who wants to leave this world better than he found it. In the April 12, 2018 article “Holocaust is Fading from Memory, Survey Finds,” Maggie Astor goes into detail about a recent survey completed by the Claims Conference in regards to Holocaust Education in the United States and around the world. The results are both shocking and lead to a worrisome future if we do not do something to combat this dangerous new development. holocaust-knowledge-and_awareness-study

Let that statistic alone sink in. Half of millennials cannot name a single concentration camp. Not a single camp where 6,000,000 million Jews were mass-murdered in addition to 7,000,000 others (Gypsies, political prisoners, homosexuals, those who were physically or intellectually disabled, and POWs). To be fair I can only name 6 camps and recognized another 2 camps, but the fact that half couldn’t even come up with Auschwitz is unbelievable to me. Here are several more surprising statistics from the study:

  • Most Americans (80%) have not visited a Holocaust museum
  • Nearly one-third of all Americans (31%) and more than 4-in-10 millennials (41%) believe that substantially less than 6 million Jews were killed (two million or fewer) during the Holocaust
  • Most adults (86%) know the Holocaust occurred in Germany, but only (37%) identified Poland as a country where the Holocaust occurred despite the fact that more than half of the European Jews killed were from Poland.
  • Two thirds of all adults (67%) could not name or did not know of a Holocaust survivor.

The rallying cry after the holocaust became “Never Again!” Never again would the world stand by and let millions of people be slaughtered by a monstrous dictator. Never again would the world fail to speak up and defend those who cannot defend or speak for themselves. The only problem is the world did fail. The world failed multiple times. The World failed Cambodia. And Armenia. And Bosnia & Herzegovina. And Rwanda. And Darfur. And if we do not act soon, we will be failing in Syria once again.

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Ever since I read Night, Elie Wiesel has been one of my historical heroes. His ability to speak directly to your soul with his use of visual language and writing style is unmatched by any other memoir writer that I have been a fan of. In Night, Wiesel wrote:

Never shall I forget that night, the first night in camp, that turned my life into one long night seven times sealed. Never shall I forget that smoke. Never shall I forget the small faces of the children whose bodies I saw transformed into smoke under a silent sky. Never shall I forget those flames that consumed my faith forever. Never shall I forget the nocturnal silence that deprived me for all eternity of the desire to live. Never shall I forget those moments that murdered my God and my soul and turned my dreams to ashes. Never shall I forget those things, even were I condemned to live as long as God Himself.

Never shall I forget.

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Elie Wiesel in the early 2000s.

Wiesel’s writing is not what makes him one of my historical heroes, however. Wiesel is one of my heroes because after surviving the Holocaust – where he lost his father, mother, and sister – Wiesel spent his entire life speaking and writing about his experience. He traveled extensively and gave talks around the world. He met with world leaders and dignitaries to further the cause of peace. Wiesel was even awarded the Noble Peace Prize in 1986. The acceptance speech he gave accepting the prize, and a speech called “The Perils of Indifference” that Wiesel gave in the East Room of the White House in 1999 at the invitation of President Bill Clinton are part of the reason that Elie Wiesel is my hero. Wiesel spoke about the importance of speaking out and standing up any time violence and acts of genocide are occurring in our world. It is because of his words and his views that I know if he were alive today, Wiesel would have been one of the most vocal about the current atrocities being committed in Syria.

 

In his Nobel Prize acceptance speech, Wiesel spoke eloquently on the issue of speaking out against the oppression of peoples throughout the world. He said:

We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become irrelevant. Wherever men or women are persecuted because of their race, religion, or political views, that place must – at that moment – become the center of the universe.

Do I think Elie Wiesel would have been happy that a coalition force of British, French, and American forces bombed Syria earlier this week? Of course not. Nobody should be happy about it. With that said I do feel that he would have realized that was the only option. We have tried the diplomatic world with to no avail. We have tried sanctions and other solutions to no avail. So we drew a line in the sand and said there would be consequences and the terrorist Bashar Al-Assad crossed that line. We followed through we our promise.

We cannot allow a world where chemical weapons use is normal to be a reality. We cannot allow a brutal dictator propped up by the Russian continually uses chemical weapons against men, women, and children to become the new normal – and the reason we cannot allow this to happen is because we already did and we already promised never again. But too many people seem to be forgetting this. Too many people seem to have forgotten the world allowed another brutal dictator to come to power and use chemical weapons to try and gas an entire race into oblivion.

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Elie Wiesel wrote that part of the reason he spoke out was to help people remember. IN his world, to forget the dead would be akin to killing them a second time. That line in Night makes me tear up every time I read it because I know how important it is to Elie Wiesel. He believes it with every fiber of his being. As a historian I believe it to. We are coming close to killing the victims of the holocaust a second time. It has been 7 decades since the Holocaust so this is not surprising., but we must still work to fix this issue. The scary thing, however, is we are coming dangerously close to killing the dead in Syria a second time. The first reports of chemical weapons being used in Syria was just a few years ago. Watch the video below before you read my final sentences.

Look me in the eye and tell me you can live with yourself if we allow these people to be killed a second time. If you can say that with a straight face you are a stronger colder person than I am. Just as the Holocaust was a watershed moment., this too is a watershed moment. We must not fail. Sadly, we are coming dangerously close. We. Must. Not. Fail.

Say Her Name: Sasha Wall

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Today is a sad day for South Carolina, and most people have no idea. Most South Carolinians will never know, and this saddens me most of all. The only reason I discovered the sadness of today is because I accidentally stumbled across a tweet while reading information about the teacher walkouts in Oklahoma and Kentucky.  Randomly while scrolling through I saw a tweet from the Human Rights Campaign that had South Carolina as part of the 240 characters. As I braced for the worst I clicked on the link. My fears and disappointment were once again confirmed. I shouldn’t be surprised or sad by the news, with the reputation that our state has on accurately covering issues that effect the LGBTQ community – especially when it comes to the “T” in our umbrella of an acronym.

In the early hours of Easter morning, trans woman Sasha Wall was murdered in Chesterfield County in the lower part of South Carolina. She was found dead in her car on the side of a rural road. It is believed the car was left running for over 2 hours before someone stopped and called police. Sasha Wall was shot in the head, neck, and shoulder at least a dozen times. She was the same age as me (29 years old). On Easter morning.

Sasha Wall

We should not be shocked at Sasha Wall’s death. Trans women – especially trans women of color – have one of the highest homicide rates in the nation. Wall is the 8th trans woman murdered in 2018. Of those eight trans women, seven were people of color. At the current rate, 2018 will pass the number of trans people murdered in 2017 by the beginning of October.

Most people will live throughout 2018 and they will not know this. They will not know it, because the media continues to not report the facts on the murders of these people. Trans people have some of the least reported homicides in the nation. When add this fact in to the fact that the media reports homicides of people of color at a less accurate rate than the rates of caucasian people, trans women of color were doomed from the start.

What shocks and saddens me more than Sasha Wall’s murder, and more than the fact that many people will never know about this human being is the disgusting and wrong way that Sasha was covered by the press here in South Carolina. Of the papers I searched for in the area, the only two papers to report on the brutal homicide were The State paper in Columbia and The Post and Courier from Charleston. In both papers, Sasha Wall was misgendered and deadnamed. As if being murdered for simply existing was not indecent enough, both papers listed Wall as male and used the name she was given at birth. Both articles made mention of the fact friends, family, and Sasha’s place of employment referred to her as Sasha Wall, yet they continued to refer to her by the wrong name and the wrong gender.

People who look at the Black Lives Matter movement with disgust and disdain are quick to shout that “All Lives Matter! They are quick to express outrage and moral indignation when they hear that phrase. Well you know I hear now? I hear deafening silence. I hear silence from the media. I hear silence from the general public. I hear silence from the shouters of “All Lives Matter!” But most importantly of all, I hear that deafening silence from the others members of the LGBTQ community. For far to long, it has been “every letter for themselves” in our community. The apathy that the queer community has for each other is just more deafening silence. And all of that deafening silence from all of those people fills me with disgust. With disdain. With outrage. With moral indignation.

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Where is your disgust now?

Where is your disdain now?

Where is your outrage now?

Where is your moral indignation now?

You say that all lives matter. Now is your chance to prove it. Now is your chance to walk the walk. To put your money where your mouth is. To put up, or shut up. To prove once and far all that All lives matter. I want to hear your disgust for Sasha Wall. I want to her your disdain for her. I want to hear your outrage for her. I want to hear your moral indignation for her. To help drown out the deafening silence I will be there with you. I will shout my disgust, disdain, outrage, and moral indignation with you. I am guilty of that silence, but enough is enough.

Sasha Wall was a 29-year-old woman. She was a woman who was loved by her family and friends, and she was a woman who loved her family and friends. She was a woman with hopes and dreams and ambitions just like the rest of us. Sasha Wall deserved more. Sasha Wall deserved more than being left on the side of the road like discarded garbage. She was a woman who deserves justice she most likely will never see. I cannot bring her back. But I can and will say her name. I will say her name so somewhere her spirit knows that I see her for the person she was and for all she could have been. I say her name and the names of the other 7 women who deserved so much more:

  1. Christa Leigh Seele-Knudslien, 42 years old
  2. Viccky Gutierrez, 38 years old
  3. Celine Walker, 36 years old
  4. Tonya Harvey, 35 years old
  5. Zakaria Fry, 28 years old
  6. Phylicia Mitchell, 46 years old
  7. Amia Tyrae Berryman, 28 years old
  8. Sasha Wall, 29 years old

May God Bless Christa, Viccky, Celine, Tonya, Zakaria, Phylicia, Amia, and Sasha with the peace in heaven that they were so cruelly denied here on Earth. But more importantly, may be bless us with forgiveness for our deafening silence, and the strength to now and forever more, say shout their names.